Mother of the groom wears the only two colors she was told NOT to wear, wives online insist he put his foot down or his mother will ruin his marriage: ‘This is about you and your fiancé’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
May 7, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Are we crazy to think that it's pretty common knowledge not to wear white to a wedding that you are not the bride of unless otherwise specifically informed to? Like, that's a well-known rule in wedding edict, right?… Apparently not! Sure, there are other cultures that say otherwise, but for a traditional American wedding, the kind you see in Hollywood rom-coms, it's pretty obvious that only the bride wears white, and if you show up in white you are the biggest entitled person ever. And yet, according to the plethora of stories online of people still showing up in white to weddings, this still tends to happen all of the time. 

 

In this case, it's the mother of the groom who wants to show up in white. But not only in white, she wants to show up in the only two colors that her son specifically told her not to wear…

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  • The groom has a chance to stop this, the wedding hasn't happened yet. But his mom and even his dad are both being difficult about it. His mom doesn't even care what he thinks, and his dad understands the poor edict of it, but still tells his son to just let her do it. But women on the internet beg to differ! They're saying that if he doesn't stand up to his mom now, she will continue to walk all over him and his bride and eventually ruin his marriage…

  • Cheezburger Image 10502508288
    via Unsplash+ (and Hermes Rivera)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "My mother wants to wear white to my wedding"

    My (Groom) mother is a tricky one. When she asked what colors she should wear to my upcoming wedding I just said avoid white and light blue (the bridesmaids color). She has gone and bought a white dress with some line work light blue floral print on it.
    via tacosfordays
  • I haven't actually seen it, just heard the description. So I asked her if she could send me a pic of it. After a day of leaving me on read she replied with "no, that's not appropriate for you to ask me". She then stopped responding to my texts.
    via tacosfordays
  • I then messaged my dad. and he wouldn't send me a picture of it but he pointed me in the direction of a photo of a jacket with a similar color makeup. I responded saying it was far too white for anyone let alone the mother of the groom to wear to a wedding. I then
    via tacosfordays
  • sent a bunch of articles that discuss white printed dresses at weddings and what is and isn't appropriate. He responded with agreement that he now understands it's inappropriate but my mum is stressed at work
    via tacosfordays
  • so I might have to accept that she will wear it regardless. I'm absolutely fuming that they're unwilling to put me & my Fiancées feelings above hers for this one day in my life.
    via tacosfordays
  • Cheezburger Image 10502525696
    via Unsplash+ (and Eugenia Pankiv)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • ejoburke90 Obviously I don't know your mom. But considering she 1) had clear guidance from you on what not to wear; 2) had millions of options but purposely chose something that broke both of the simple rules you gave her; and 3) won't talk to you about it - tells me she has done this with agenda to hurt your fiancé and/or make some kind of point at the wedding. When you
    via ejoburke90
  • choose to marry someone, you're choosing to put them first in your life. If you don't put your foot down about this and let your mother's antics come before your fiancé's feelings, you're starting your marriage off in a baaaad way. You either need to call her, leave a voicemail, or better yet send a video message making it clear: she is not wearing that dress, she is not wearing those colors, and if she does she will not be allowed to attend the wedding.
    via ejoburke90
  • She can either be a supportive mother of the groom and new mother in law, or she cannot attend. No ifs, ands, or buts. Tell her the staff of the venue will be told to deny entry to her if she breaks the very simple, respectful, easy to follow rules you have made on her attire.
    via ejoburke90
  • New-Waltz-2854 100% agree. This is about you and your fiancé. Letting her get away with this will just mean she will continue to act this way and eventually ruin your marriage.
    via New-Waltz-2854
  • gobsmacked247. I would extend this mindset to the actual marriage. If the mom is this willing to go against what is a very simple request, she will be boundary stomping all over the place in that marriage! She will have much to say about kids, for sure. You may as well make her angry now OP because if not, she will not be a good MIL and grandma.
    via gobsmacked247
  • phdr_baker_cstxmkr My MIL pulled something similar and it meant THE WORLD to me that my finance told me he would get into it with her if I wanted. Ultimately I made the choice not to (because we were drawing boundaries in a LOT of places and I wanted to be strategic) and I know several people cringed at how much her dress looked like mine.
    via phdr_baker_cstxmkr
  • OP, if you see this: get on the same page with your finance NOW. You're going to be a team. And if your mom is this kind of difficult you're going to need to stand together to hold the line. On the plus side, 7 years post these shenanigans, my MIL is now mostly well behaved. And when she isn't, I know my husband isn't tolerating her bulls
    via phdr_baker_cstxmkr
  • Cheezburger Image 10502530816
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Liu1845 I might also ask her if she needs to see a doctor and be tested for the onset of dementia, since she bought a dress in the two colors you told her she can not wear. "Nothing to be ashamed of mom, I know you are getting up there in years. I know you wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, so get a different color dress or don't bother showing up."
    via Liu1845
  • FireRescue3 Your Mom isn't tricky. She is outright attacking you and your fiancé. She specifically and intentionally did the exact thing you told her not to do. So what are you going to do? Stand up for your future wife and the rest of your future life or let Mommy control your wedding? This is a test you should not fail.
    via FireRescue3
  • Mama_B_tired And don't be fooled. Many people will tell you to let it go to "keep the peace" and family sticks together. You are not the one causing the problem therefore you do not need to keep the peace. Stand up for your wife now, or your mom will forever try to manipulate and disrespect her.
    via Mama_B_tired
  • BodyBy711 Tell her she's uninvited if she's going to act the fool. Stand up for your wife, man. ETA: she's not a "tricky one" she's smashing boundaries, and nobody is checking her. Your marriage will never survive if you do not learn to stand up to her.
    via BodyBy711
  • sonny-v2-point-0 The issue isn't what your mother is wearing. It's that she purposely chose the 2 colors you told her not to wear then refused to talk to you about it. Do you live close enough to go visit? If not, call her. If she doesn't answer, call your dad when you know she should be home and tell him she's risking her invitation to the wedding. She needs
    via sonny-v2-point-0
  • to choose another dress or she's not welcome to attend, and if she shows up in it she either (a) won't be allowed in (which means hiring security) or (b) she'll be allowed in but she won't be in photos and you'll be going low contact after the wedding. Then be prepared to stand by your word.
    via sonny-v2-point-0

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